ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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