some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
