You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
God, I missed his penis.
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