Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
