Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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