we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
