ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
