Define "chronic" masturbator.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
