I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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