very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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