Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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