Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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