I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
