I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
