with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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