All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
