it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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