You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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