Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Jerry, you need to find god
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
