Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
