are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
