not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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