They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
