why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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