We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
