After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
