so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
