a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Watching her eat just hurts me
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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