Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
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