Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
