So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It was confusing and full of hummus
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
