i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
