He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
