I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
