We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
