I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize