once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You are a genius and a whore.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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