Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize