Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize