am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Blood and glitter go together right?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
