i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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