if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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