We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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