dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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