I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
