After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
