Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
