Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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