drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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