I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize