The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
