her vagine was all disorganized.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just gift wrapped bread.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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