I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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