I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
