Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
