Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just pee around me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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