Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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