No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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