Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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