Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
