I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's shark week go big or go home
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
